Prepare to just let go. Someone should have told me this when I first started loc'ing my hair. They call it a journey for a reason. As much as you may try to manipulate your baby locs, they are going to do whatever they want to do. They are going to be fuzzy and all over the place. The beginning months may frustrate you to no end and the best way to rid yourself of that frustration? Leave them alone.
-Curly Nikki
"Things to think about before you loc"
Did I Mention I'm Starting My Locks Again?
Now you wanna see photos right? Well no photos. Maybe one day.
This is my third time starting my locks and let me tell you. It is so different from the last time I started them as a skinny, proud, eclectic, footloose and fancy free teenager in high school. The things I associated with locks in those days seem to be long gone along with my skinniness, delusions, and not to mention thick healthy hair which I took for granted I would always have. This is a whole different journey. I am juggling so many other things at the same time I'm doing this and many of those things are insecurities and doubts that often get so big, they're ridiculous. What do locks mean to me now. Is it just about a style? Has this just become another way to be like, I want that status? I want my locks to look just like that, no, like those! What happened to me?
So that's why I'm trying real hard not to be hard on myself. I'm trying real hard not to twist the heck out of my newborn locks and let them become what they're going to become and not judge my locks so harshly the way I never did as a teenager. I mean as a woman of color, I have always had hair issues. I even wrote an article about it in New Youth Connections while I was in High School. But my locks were totally liberating for me and I was completely satisfied with how they turned out, never thought they were ugly or wondered if other people thought they were ugly. Now I have a whole other set of insecurities that I deal with that to a large degree are about other people's perceptions which I know I shouldn't even give a shit about. Which is why I really love going to events populated dominantly with people of color every once in a while which is another thing I did more often when I was younger. I was raised attending cultural functions on a regular basis. There was no question.
Black people are so beautiful, so creative, so resourceful, so funky, so amazing, if we could just get it together and love ourselves and each other more, there is nothing we couldn't do. Of course then we'd have a war on our hands because this is exactly what white people don't want but it would be totally worth it.
As for me, I am going to take Curly Nikki's advice and leave it alone. The journey is actually really interesting when I'm not fussing and obsessing. My hair looks different every morning and changes throughout the day. Isn't that what every woman wants? Well, that's what this woman wants anyway.
Showing posts with label afircan american hair. Show all posts
Showing posts with label afircan american hair. Show all posts
Friday, October 21, 2011
Sunday, February 14, 2010
NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN
Whenever I get my hair done with extensions it's like a sociological experiment. It's still meeeeee!!!! I'll take questions after the show.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Hair Story
Friday morning I went to get my hair cut by Ketlie a student at the John Atchison Salon on Madison Ave. My relationship with my hair in its natural state has been very unbalanced. I have had a hell of a time finding any current or stable resources for exactly how to take care of African American hair that is not processed,relaxed or in a weave.
The woman who gave me the card for J.A. referred me because she had a short natural like my own. I was flattered that she would dig around in her bag for me and really liked the shape of her natural cut so I called to make an appointment right away. Plus, it was free and I’ve needed a trim for a while now since my go to Barber Shop, West African Barbers, closed months ago.
Ketlie at the John Athchison Salon
Since this was a student cut, it took a few hours and was done very thoroughly because it had to be monitored by John Atkinson himself, a tall older African American man who did the hair of at least two other older women while Ketlie was cutting my hair.
I have to be honest, as long as I’ve had my hair short; I still get really nervous when I go for a trim. I get scared that I’m going to have to start all over again. It’s like so many things about myself I need to maintain. Taking care of yourself is not easy, and I feel as if the diagnosis of my hair is always the same: damaged. It’s dry, there’s breakage, and I need to deep condition more often. I feel like I’ve done all these things to no avail but perhaps I haven’t been patient enough with myself. Washing my face and moisturizing every night is really paying off. Perhaps the hair regimen Ketlie recommended for me will pan out as well.
My Latest Shape
Since it took literally hours to have my hair done, shampoo and conditioning included, I picked up a magazine at some point and wouldn’t you know I stumbled upon an article written by a white woman who cut her hair really short as well?
She said her boyfriend was pretty clear that he didn’t like it and although they broke up they are still good friends. It was clear that this bothered her but also that she wasn’t willing to change her hair for him. Every once in a while I would look up into the station mirror watching as my hair got shorter and shorter. I told myself, this is me. Why am I so afraid to see myself?
Ketlie told me that she was getting ready to cut all her hair off as well, that she’d been growing out her processed hair in preparation. She said she really liked the look and thought it was very feminine. I thought it made me look a little bit like Max Headroom or Grace Jones but instead of being pessimistic I decided to indulge in her genuine enthusiasm. I really trusted her and I could tell that she knew what she was doing. When she was done, she gave me a list of all the things she had recommended I use.
Fortunately, having had short hair for a few years now, I no longer go into shock over getting a haircut. I realize that it is something others have to adjust to but for me it’s just a slight change. Ketlie asked me what my fiancée thought and I told her he was very open minded and thought it was cute when I cut my hair. I realize that I get a lot of my hair confidence from him. I honestly think I’d be a wreck if I were with some guy who associated femininity with long flowing locks only. Because of Francis, this part of my self-image is greatly altered. He really only wants me, not some idea of me. I can’t tell you how liberating that it, how rare. I still struggle with a lot of aspects of how I look and feel, to almost a crippling degree at times but being with someone who accepts so much of me gives me the idea that all of that struggle is a waste of time.
Taking care for ourselves through exercise, eating right, getting fresh air and bathing frequently is a basic requirement but for women so much of the extra maintenance of “beauty” can be a slow ride to insanity because it is based in so much illusion. Knowing that, however, doesn’t always make it any easier to deal with.
The woman who gave me the card for J.A. referred me because she had a short natural like my own. I was flattered that she would dig around in her bag for me and really liked the shape of her natural cut so I called to make an appointment right away. Plus, it was free and I’ve needed a trim for a while now since my go to Barber Shop, West African Barbers, closed months ago.
Ketlie at the John Athchison Salon
Since this was a student cut, it took a few hours and was done very thoroughly because it had to be monitored by John Atkinson himself, a tall older African American man who did the hair of at least two other older women while Ketlie was cutting my hair.
I have to be honest, as long as I’ve had my hair short; I still get really nervous when I go for a trim. I get scared that I’m going to have to start all over again. It’s like so many things about myself I need to maintain. Taking care of yourself is not easy, and I feel as if the diagnosis of my hair is always the same: damaged. It’s dry, there’s breakage, and I need to deep condition more often. I feel like I’ve done all these things to no avail but perhaps I haven’t been patient enough with myself. Washing my face and moisturizing every night is really paying off. Perhaps the hair regimen Ketlie recommended for me will pan out as well.
My Latest Shape
Since it took literally hours to have my hair done, shampoo and conditioning included, I picked up a magazine at some point and wouldn’t you know I stumbled upon an article written by a white woman who cut her hair really short as well?
She said her boyfriend was pretty clear that he didn’t like it and although they broke up they are still good friends. It was clear that this bothered her but also that she wasn’t willing to change her hair for him. Every once in a while I would look up into the station mirror watching as my hair got shorter and shorter. I told myself, this is me. Why am I so afraid to see myself?
Ketlie told me that she was getting ready to cut all her hair off as well, that she’d been growing out her processed hair in preparation. She said she really liked the look and thought it was very feminine. I thought it made me look a little bit like Max Headroom or Grace Jones but instead of being pessimistic I decided to indulge in her genuine enthusiasm. I really trusted her and I could tell that she knew what she was doing. When she was done, she gave me a list of all the things she had recommended I use.
Fortunately, having had short hair for a few years now, I no longer go into shock over getting a haircut. I realize that it is something others have to adjust to but for me it’s just a slight change. Ketlie asked me what my fiancée thought and I told her he was very open minded and thought it was cute when I cut my hair. I realize that I get a lot of my hair confidence from him. I honestly think I’d be a wreck if I were with some guy who associated femininity with long flowing locks only. Because of Francis, this part of my self-image is greatly altered. He really only wants me, not some idea of me. I can’t tell you how liberating that it, how rare. I still struggle with a lot of aspects of how I look and feel, to almost a crippling degree at times but being with someone who accepts so much of me gives me the idea that all of that struggle is a waste of time.
Taking care for ourselves through exercise, eating right, getting fresh air and bathing frequently is a basic requirement but for women so much of the extra maintenance of “beauty” can be a slow ride to insanity because it is based in so much illusion. Knowing that, however, doesn’t always make it any easier to deal with.
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