Top Five Regrets of The Dying

It's 9:14 and I have done everything but what I should be doing which is study for my History of Photography test tomorrow. My brain is just not in it for whatever reason and oddly enough I'm not panicky at all. Maybe I should be more concerned. I'm not. I'm listening to my Mario Lanza playlist on Spotify and thinking about this article that Darnell posted on FB. Top Five Regrets of the Dying compiled by a Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative nurse who counseled the dying for several years and put her observations into a book of the same name. It really got to me. One thing I do get panicky about as I begin to reach the (GULP) road to my 40s, is that I am running out of time, that I've wasted too much time.  I have several regrets already and I think of the top five listed in Wares book, mine has to be number 1.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

I know now that we are all dying, all the time, all dying and being reborn every day, maybe every minute but our culture is so saturated with falsities about the meanings of birth and death that we spend most of our time missing these moments. We're much too busy living up to some expectations we never had a hand in making. It's something that's preoccupied my mind on and off for along time but much more in the last four or five years. Reading the regrets of these people just as they die, it really confirms so many of the suspicions I've always had about the things in life which truly kill us in the end. The body takes it's cues very heavily from the mind. And that being the case, it's no wonder that people often pass away with so many regrets. While I feel that there probably comes a point in time for us all when it is very definitely too late for an ailing body to be turned around, the mind, whose mysteries, intelligence and magic we have only barely scratched the surface of, is still a place where dormant hope can spark the fire of awakening.

Okay, it's time for me to study now. 

Downton Abbey Addict

 

I was raised on PBS as a girl in the early 70s. Sesame Street, Electric Company,  Anne of Green Gables, The Reading Rainbow, all of it. When my mom watched British Programing like Upstairs, Downstairs I watched as well  and I had no idea what was going on really, but I was enthralled by the cockney accent spoken by the workforce "Downstairs." I even did my own version of a tape recorded narrative in which I did the voices for several imaginary British characters in a made up girls dormitory. 

I still love watching PBS when I get the chance but I have not been hooked to anything on BBC or PBS since "Chef."  It was literally some random comment made by an old High School Classmate about Downton Abbey. on Facebook that made me check it out. I never dreamed I would even like it let alone become addicted. The anglophile in me sickenly runneth over.

The immediate introduction in episode 1 of Mr. Bates, Lord Grantham's Valet, was a brilliant way for the series to begin. Like Anna, the head housemaid, I fell for Mr. Bates on first sight. Although I think it was intentional that we not know immediately whether to like him or not, those are the kind of characters I like the most. Bates is honorable to a fault, but with a great deal of darkness in his past that just seems to creep up and snatch his every chance of happiness away each time it's within his grasp. Fortunately, Anna is unerringly loyal to him and trusting of what she believes to be his deep virtue, almost from the very beginning. Their chemistry is the most beautiful because it requires that they always remain aware of their service to the house even in the midst of all the petty dramas and his own personal turmoil. They get their work done first, with pride and perfection but always find their way back to one another.

The Grantham family and daughters are both exceptionally honorable and achingly annoying, hypocritical and stubborn. Edith, is the youngest daughter, thought to never marry since she is not thought as attractive as Mary, the eldest or Sybil, the liberal do gooder middle child. The internal squabbling dynamic between daughters pitted against each other for marriage is amusing and average at best but it's the relationships between the Grantham upper class and their servants that are most fascinating.  Robert and Mr Bates, Mary and Carson the head Butler, Sybil and Branson the revolutionary Irish chauffeur, Lady Grantham and Ms. O'Brien. They would literally be nothing without these people who work tirelessly to keep up appearances and traditions to the absolute best of their ability while all around them their way of life is being pulled apart little by little and soon to be completely leveled and turned upside down by the war. It is not only their service these people require but also their irreplaceable care and good character.

Maggie Smith as Robert Grantham's mother is of course clear stand out as a class act performer. I never ever get tired of watching her. She just has so much range. She's got the expression of venom, opinion, snobbery, humor, charm and a well hidden heart all down to a science.

Downton Abbey is also shot as beautifully as it is cleverly written and produced. Every other scene, especially in season 2 is played for suspense and strategically concludes just at the moment of impact like any good soap opera. I don't think that I could have stood to wait every week to watch each episode. I've watched the entire 1st season on Netflix streaming and have been watching season 2 on PBS.org  I am up to the last episode of season 2 now and am so happy to discover that there will be a season 3!

One of my wishes is that they find a way to evolve Thomas's storyline a bit more. Being the only homosexual we know of in this drama, he has also been depicted as the most selfish, hateful and despicable of characters but there have been glimpses here and there as to where this all comes from. Still, it would be nice if they didn't go down the old familiar road with his character, even given the obvious pitfalls in society at that time for gay men. I've hated Thomas too but only because he's been so cruel and cold and an unfeeling. I still think he deserves to be loved.

Shorey Family

Shorey Family
Originally uploaded by Zanalee

From BlackhistoryAlbum.com

"William T. Shorey (1859-1919) was a famous captain in the last days of whaling. He was born in Barbados, the son of a Scottish sugar planter and an Indian creole woman. Shorey began seafaring as a teenager and in 1876 he made his first whaling voyage.

Whaling brought him to California and he married the daughter from a leading African American family in San Francisco. In 1886 he became the only black West Coast ship captain. Known for his skill and leadership, Shorey experienced many adventures and dangers at sea with multiracial crews before his retirement in 1908."

I would love to see a televisions series made about families like this one. I'm so curious about the lives of African Americans at this time in history. Theirs are lives whose stories are never told by the mainstream media and there are so many of them. Thank goodness for the internet.

"Don't make me close one more door..."

R.I.P. WHITNEY

Crochet Hearts

Originally uploaded by Zanalee

I finally found a pattern to make these crochet hearts I have been admiring for weeks now. I've been making them in different colors for the past couple of days and wearing a classic red one as a pin. They are so easy to make and are so cute, not to mention just in time for Valentines Day! YAY!