A Wedding In Lansford PA

Fonz's Wedding
Originally uploaded by Zanalee

In the last seven years of my relationship, we have been to several weddings, baby showers, an engagement party or two? They usual come in groups, never one at a time. We have not yet been married. We do not yet have any children. I have just been watching and documenting this tradition, sometimes with fascination, sometimes with judgment but rarely with envy. Always I observe with interest.

Last week we attended the wedding of my sweetheart's best friend in Lansford PA, a coal mining town. The weekend before that we attended an engagement party for another friend of his in the Bronx. It was a sweet little backyard party with string lights, a DJ and bubbles which I love. I turn five years old when there are bubbles around. You know like the kind you blow with a wand. There were bubbles at the wedding as well in the place of rice which I highly approved of. So yes, there will be bubbles at my wedding. Check. That's something I will not be moved on. Rice is just not me. And although I do tend towards a contrary nature, I'm not one of these people who want to buck tradition just for the sake of it. I do want to question it though.

Sometimes we embrace tradition because we claim to like and or respect it. And sometimes we just so shit because it's always been done. I hate the latter. Doing shit because it's always been done just doesn't fly. But still, I get it. It's hard to be original or true to yourself in a society that thrives on drawing you as far from your "self" as possible. So if you don't know who you are, how do you know what you really want? You'll have to accept that fact after a while that a disturbingly large percentage of what you claim to want or like is just shit you've been programmed or designed for. Fine. I guess.

I was with the grooms party for the majority of time leading up to the actual wedding and for the most part at the reception as well. He was incredibly nervous, chain smoking, shaking and just having the usual jitters. I told him it was probably because of all the people involved and he agreed. I get the genuine feeling that he and his wife to be really love each other and apart for from all the wedding hoopla, they are already "joined" in all the places where it counts.

I sat on his sofa and played "Word with Friends" while he, and his stepson and my fiancee helped one another with cuff links and vests while music played. I snapped shots of them, talked and laughed with them but I didn't consider myself to be much more than a tag along. The more weddings I attend the more I see the beauty and presentation less and the stress more. It's like opening night on Broadway or something As a girl I only saw the show, the performance but now as an adult, I'm starting to see all that happens behind the scenes. Sometimes it appears to be worth it. Other times, not so much. But that's not really for me to say. I haven't done it yet, although I have though about it. I've though about music, the locations, bubbles, I definitely will not be getting married in anybody's church, but it's not a "real" state yet. It's just out there in the fantasy realm along with pregnancy and winning the lotto. And I'm still not in any hurry. Although acquaintances and friends are often in a hurry for me. I don't know what to say to them. We're working on it? LOL!

Ok not really, we're actually working on taking another vacation! YEAH!! LOL!!!