Laid out like tar

So I threw my back out just existing this week and I called out sick from work yesterday to try a series of different things to treat it. I went to get acupuncture in Chinatown, but surprisingly that didn't seem to change much. I wandered around Soho with my camera and took some pictures just to take my mind off the pain for a bit.

I idled into Babeland, (that's a sex toy shop for you prudes out there) for the first time. I was only aware of the one near Orchard Street and had never known this one existed. Apparently, they've been at this location for six years. It's a really nice, large space and the sales women were really nice. They were playing Le Tigre which was great and I just casually made my way down the aisle looking at shelves and shelves of scarily efficient self pleasure toys.

I saw the Hello Kitty vibrator live for the first time. I'd always heard about it. It's adorable of course and also comes in black as well as pink. The further down I got, the more graphic and impressive it was. While I was there about two or three couples wandered in as well. I never once felt self conscious or shy about it. I remember years ago when Tower Records was still open how weird it was that they had the Adult video section embedded with the rest of the DVDs. I would feel kind of awkward for the men who would be browsing those videos while the rest of us were glancing at them with judgment from the Comedy and Romance sections. I guess when it comes to sex in a pseudo puritanical, hypocritical and perverted society like ours, access has a lot to do with demand, atmosphere and intent.

When I got home I applied a self heating pad to my back and watched Lord of The Rings with Francis after doing some doll crafting in my room. Then I soaked in a tub of hot water and Epsom salt for an hour or so. After all this I just felt more tender and sensitive and could barely move without feeling the sharp pain in the center of my shoulder blades. I went to bed but couldn't sleep. I ended up propping myself against the wall on my bed and staring out the window at the men laying tarmac on my street. They stripped it the day before. They always start around eight or so and carry on through the night while people are trying to sleep but it really doesn't bother me much. When the tarmac truck rolled by, I could feel the whole building vibrate. I watched the men shoveling and smoothing out the surface, the steam rising from it. One of the workers was on his cell phone standing there on the tarmac and it made me think of how no one pays full attention to what they're doing anymore, including me. Technology has created so many different, petty things to distract ourselves from what's actually happening from what we're doing in the moment. Before cell phones, before technology, there was more of an opportunity to be present. The article I read in the Onion on the train ride home about the Nadir of Western Civilization being reached on Friday rings scarily true to me. The Onion may be a satire paper but it's based primarily on some really fucked up realities that we all can relate to.

Sitting there last night trying not to move or aggravate the sharp pain in my back. looking at the illuminated yellow light coming from the beastly tarmac vehicle was kind of peaceful. I haven't taken much time to be still and present for a long time myself. Maybe that's why this happened it me. But I still want it to go away.

Linens and Shit

God Bless The Onion