Let's go see some naked daughters and moms!
-Liz Lemon
"30 Rock"
I was listening to “Mine” on the Beyoncé album this morning as
I’m starting to retreat back into music after flooding myself with podcasts
during commutes for the last month or so. I love that song. To me it’s technically
multi-textured, melodious, emotional, and sentimental. I love it and I love
Drakes part as well even if to me, the idea of “Good Girl” is a kind of male
fantasy created to protect the male ego.
I mean first off, I don’t see any girls anywhere in this song. I’m just
being factual here, just deconstructing. I refer to myself and other grown ass
females as girls as much as the next woman but when a guy does this, it has a
slightly more direct meaning for him. A “Good Girl” is well behaved and virtuous
and obedient and sweet. Still though, there is much talk in the rap world about
the irresistible nature of the “Bad girl.” Right. Same goes for the “Bad Boy”
in our culture. Except that the “Bad Boy” is always regarded in higher esteem
then the “Bad Girl” ever will be. A “Bad Girl” can’t ever change to “Good.” Once
a Good Girl goes bad, she’s bad forever. Isn’t that what Jay Z said? Right.
This is what I’m saying. For men, when a “Good Girl” goes bad, that’s it. No
redemption, no coming back. You know who
else that rings true for? Pretty much the world. “Good women” gone “Bad” rarely
ever get a second chance with us. But a “Bad Boy!” OH!
He can do bad and good and bad and bad and good and bad and
good again! Forgiveness for the “Bad Boy” is never a question. I mean look at
Bill Clinton! “Boys will be boys.” Case closed.
Men have a really tough time allowing women to break out of
the “Good Girl” box and do something “Bad” and still
think of them as “Angels” or “Good Girls.” One strike (and this could be anything
from speaking your mind about sexual preferences openly or wearing a dress with
a slit to your thigh in public or crawling on a piano half naked in a music
video) and you’re out for good. Oh fathers! I sincerely feel for fathers everywhere having to watch their "Good Little Girls" grow up into grown
sexual beings. It's hard for men and even women for that matter not to immediately associate a female who chooses to express herself sexually with someone who has sexually loose morals. But a dude! Oh he's just doing what a dude does.
Beyonce climbs the piano half naked.
WHORE!!!!! BURN HER!
Which brings me back to why I love the Album “Beyoncé.”
Every time I listen to it, I discover what I believe to be tiny nuggets (with
huge influences) of female liberation of a kind I have not seen explored by popular
culture in a long time, probably not since Madonna came on the scene. I suppose
it’s easy for some to dismiss “Beyoncé” as just another sexually exploitative
project where B, lets it all hang out for a buck but that would be just plain
ignorant. “Beyoncé” is a dedication of love, fidelity, sexual exploration,
motherhood, womanism and creativity.
Last night, I was glued to Scandal like I am every Thursday
and reading and posting Tweets and Facebook statuses at the same time. The way they are exploring Mellie’s character
right now is just incredible to me. They are opening her up in a way that makes it
just unavoidable for me continue see her as just the wicked witch they have
portrayed as for the most part up until now. The pressure that she puts on
herself in addition to the pressure from her peers, from the media, from
society to be a “Good Wife” and a “Good Girl” just got smashed open to reveal all
the shades of Mellie, how she got where she is, why she is who she thinks she
is and the raw truth behind why she, like many women struggle with expressing
their true desires and power while at the same time trying to avoid threatening
the prevailing rule of patriarchy which promotes action or inaction as a result
of fear.
Mellie is beautiful. Mellie is vulnerable. Mellie is
feminine. Mellie is sexual. Mellie is ambitious. Mellie wants to please and support her husband. Mellie has been assaulted, violated and demonized.
Her public persona is icy and opportunistic. Which of these qualities are the ones that we as
women usually cling to or identify with? Which are the ones that we shy away
from and avoid expressing out of fear of shame and ridicule?
What is a “Bad Girl?” What is a “Good Girl?” Why is the word girl one we continue to
use to address one another even in our 30s? It’s a question, not a judgment because
to be aware is to be powerful. To own and understand your choice of expression
means that it does not own you. That is why Beyoncé and Shonda Rhimes are so powerful
to me. They entertain but at the same
time they also provoke and they do it mindfully, with the intention of causing a
scene not only to titillate but also to turn inside out the destructive cookie
cutter notions of what it means to be a “Good Woman” or a "Good Girl" and in Olivia's case this season, "A Good Daughter." Men are never held to
that standard. So when Beyoncé and Rhimes put this kind of work out there, of
course it’s not always well received least of all by women themselves who
uphold patriarchy as faithfully and steadfastly as any white male
Patriarchy and the white
male gaze are threatened by this kind of overt exposure of a woman’s insides. There
is no platform in this system to reconcile that a “Good Girl” can also have “Bad
Girl” qualities. It fucks with the whole two dimensional definition that goes
along with the nature of stereotypes. You can only be one or the other, not both
or bits of some and chunks of the other or shades of gray. Oh no! What does
that mean? I can’t call you a girl
anymore? I can’t think of you as a Madonna anymore? And vice versa, if you
provide the services of a stripper or a call girl, how dare you use God’s name
or perform religious rituals or go to church. Blasphemy!
This is why women live longer. We were born to be the truly talented multi-taskers. We have the balls in the air, the apple pie and prayer and faith as well.
