Believe it or not "Regarding Intimacy" is almost over. Next week will be our last. I'm only just beginning to understand what it means to work as a photographer with an actual project in mind, especially with such revelatory subject matter as initimacy.
Last night Jen Davis was one of our guest speakers. Her work spanned a year or more of self portrait work which deal with many of her own personal struggles with her weight and sexuality and the occasional isolation of her emotional and physical person as a result of this.
Having her talk to us about her process as she presented each image really drew me closer to the meaning of each one, gave the pictures an even deeper relevance and a beauty for me. There was vulnerability yes, but also such apparent strength, courage and a sense of control over her apparent fears and insecurities. She really knows what she wants to convey and goes deeply into the heart of the condition. She risks a lot, often it seems, not always knowing what may come of it.
After class I told her how courageous I felt her work was especially since, being a woman, I am constantly trying to hide or mask my own imperfections and ugliness most of which I understand as such through what I learn from messages from society and the media. It's exhausting but fear keeps it pumping along. Self portrait photography I have begun to realize is quite therapeutic. I used to do it a lot in college with no clue what I was really trying to get at but I have always had a fascination with the psychology of photography and the apparent nakedness of the photograph, what it tells not only as an image but also about the person behind the camera.
I'm not sure I'm brave enough at this time to go as far as Jen has but I hope to one day. I think once you begin to peel away the layers of your pretense in any way, there's no real turning back. It may not be pretty, but for me the most evocative art reexamines ideas of beauty and normalcy takes it apart and understands that the uncompromising search for truth and acceptance is all there really is.
