High School Crush

So my high school crush just added me as friend on Facebook. I hope he doesn't know that he was my high school crush. It was a pretty stupid crush based totally on my personal romantic projections on him of a rebellious bad boy nature. He was a perpetual smart ass who wore black all the time which I loved. And he's white, Irish to be more exact which makes him really white. I thought that was hot. I wouldn't embark on my first interracial relationship until college so I was still in that jungle fever phase of adolescents where the mere otherness of racial difference is often a turn on. I was heavy into James Dean and Richard Grieco. It wasn't a preference, but a curiosity.

To put it briefly, this crush was never requited. I was very shy at the time and I found out through the vine that he liked someone else. God, it's pathetic just remembering it. I was just so awkward and so scared of my own self.

He was in my homeroom my very first year in Junior high. I will never forget what he said one day when our substitute adviser asked us all what we do after we graduated from High School. He said he would go to sleep. I loved that answer. I think that's where it started. I do not still have a crush on him in case you're wondering. I just have a crush on my idealism.