Me and "You & Me"

This is the result of a fantastic collaboration with Jedd Flanscha and Kirk Grisham and others one sunny day a few months ago in Brooklyn back when there was still snow on the ground.

My friend Kirk had asked me way in advance if I could do the photo shoot for a website on Gay Men's health and relationships that he was a part of through his work at Columbia. As I have mentioned before, directed studio photography of human beings is not really my forte. But this group of guys had to be the most laid back, the most casual, the most comfortable in their own skin group I have ever encountered.

Jedd Flanscha and Kirk Grisham

I had gotten to Jedd's about and hour or so in advance and Kirk showed up a little later. Jedd, who is also incredibly cool, explained to me his vision for the website layout and had me look at a the design he'd created on his office computer. He also created the "You & Me" branding for the t-shirts and armbands himself. Jedd is a graphic designer who works from home out of a gorgeous brownstone in Brooklyn with a living room that gets just the most amazing light from the large window on the street side. This was the light I used primarily to shoot all the photos for the site. I am really impressed with how they came out and really proud of the presentation. Again, it was not too heavily directed which is right up my alley. People seemed to have very natural chemistry with each other and there was very little pressure or a sense of judgment over getting a look just right but then again there was so little that went wrong. I think the idea was to capture something genuine and candid and intimate and I think we did that.

So maybe I need to start getting some more studio work experience under my belt and warming up to the idea of a more commercial kind of photography after all. We'll see. : )

A Memory of Cloves (and some Anbesol)

In the area where I work there's always someone smoking cloves somewhere. I always smell it just as I'm walking out into the street after finishing lunch. It's a sweet smell that I really love. I never see the person or people who are smoking them but the scent just sort of lingers briefly and I breath it in nostalgically. I used to smoke clove cigarettes in college. Actually in high school under Julio's influence or was it M? She's the first person I ever met who smoked them which was just like her because she was always doing something that no one else I knew at the time ever did. So I guess we started smoking them because of her. Who can remember the sequence? It was her who I asked for the first time, where she bought them. Clove cigarettes were sweet and smooth with a sedative effect of varying degrees.The taste would numb the tip of the tongue just slightly. Cloves have a natural numbing agent and are recommended to rub in crushed form on the gums if you have a tooth ache. Kind of like nature's Orajel. That was actually how I first became acquainted with Ben. We became acquainted through Orajel, no Anbesol. To this day, I cannot think of Anbesol without thinking of Ben. But that's another story.

In High School we smoked Djarums. But by the time I was in college I had developed a sharp pain in my chest after a while and had to quit smoking them pretty much forever. So when I smell them now, I just sort luxuriate in the memories it evokes and of the Nat Sherman store just a block away where Julio and I used to buy boxes of fancy "Touch of Clove" cigarettes with gold colored filters.

I remember when I was girl and my mom used to have my brother and I do crafts all the time which she got from this book called "Wee Wisdom." One of them involved sticking cloves in an apple until it was completely covered. It was meant to place in a clothes closet or drawers to avoid staleness or moths or something. The smell was amazing but I can't ever remember ever having used the clove apples in drawers or anything. Maybe I should try that in my apartment.
: )

Signs of Spring

Signs of Spring
Originally uploaded by TheWanderingEye

Just the word crocus makes me think of beginnings and birth. Seeing them, it's hard not to be a little cheerful. They're just so cute and beautiful, so young and new. They defy my shitty mood.

I called out sick from work today. Because it just was not going to happen. You ever get that feeling? I got up, or rather my body got up. My body began it's automatic, daily morning ritual. I think I got as far getting my towel and staring at my bathrobe. I could feel the hollow echo of a persistent migraine behind my left eye. If I left, it would only get worse. It would never stop. I just wasn't going to make it to work today. On-empty.
E-M-P-T-Y

Particulars about sheep

Again
Originally uploaded by Zanalee

"I went over your vita in some detail. You have an interesting history. Now people can generally be classified into two groups: the mediocre realists and the mediocre dreamers. You clearly belong to the latter. Your fate is and will always be the fate of a dreamer."

-A Wild Sheep Chase

The Long Haul

"I believe I can see the future

Cause I repeat the same routine

I think I used to have a purpose

But then again

That might have been a dream

I think I used to have a voice

Now I never make a sound

I just do what I've been told

I really don't want them to come around

I can feel their eyes are watching

In case I lose myself again

Sometimes I think I'm happy here

Sometimes, yet I still pretend

I can't remember how this got started

But I can tell you exactly how it will end"

-NIN

"Every Day is Exactly The Same"

Another Day, Another Baby: A Doula Story

When just one person who is not afraid to show love and who knows what it's like to be in the position of these Black women whom society has undervalued and pushed aside and knows that there is beauty and love and purpose in these women, possibility, understanding and hope for future generations begins to emerge and to flood desolate thinking with nurture and care.

You can watch this entire documentary right here or on the website or where ever you wish but please watch it. It is an hour of the most genuine display of compassion, education and love. It also reminds me of how people who take care of others the way Loretha Weisinger does also need to be taken care of as well. They need to be taken care of and supported so that they can continue to do what they are destined to do.

Picture of the Week

Originally uploaded by TheWanderingEye

Sunday in Central Park, was really just what I needed and that does not come around very often. There were people around but not so much that I couldn't find a nice isolated spot to do my homework reading and it was insanely warm so that made it even better. I took a few hundred pictures, wandered around quietly in my favorite places and then sat on a bench for about an hour and a half and read about colonization and how it plays out in the workplace. Happy stuff.